Reduced to recording 'Mind the Gap' for Boris Johnson and playing Charles Dickens on a sight-seeing bus tour with a single, stroppy passenger Steven is happy to enter the River Rats' Celebrities and Prostitutes blow football charity match. Whilst Mrs Purchase happily has sex with him as her husband sleeps she cannot partner Steven as she will be playing alongside Ray and points Steven towards the experienced Wendy Nook. The final is between Steven and Wendy and the Purchases and it looks as if Steven is going to lose until Ralph Fiennes makes an important announcement which changes everything.